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Many of my fans have been wondering where I’ve been since my fight against Vitali Klitschko, so I just want to let them know that the Kingpin is back and looking to conqueror the heavyweight division in 2010. First off, most of you don’t realize that I suffered a torn bicep in the 2nd round of my fight against Vitali and still I was able to go the distance with a man who has stopped almost everyone that he’s been in there against. I make no excuses, my fight against Vitali wasn’t my best performance but I think that I showed that I belonged in the ring fighting for the world title. Vitali never layed hand on me, while I was able to bust him open. If I was at my best that night, who knows what might have happened?

Press release from Kevin "Safety Pin" Johnson. For its comedic value more than anything.

4 months ago Rahman_kod_tiny Brickhaus 20 comments 0 recs  | 

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just stop

“I was able to bust him open”

He landed what 10 power punches the whole fight?

by laksskal on Mar 10, 2010 5:25 PM EST reply actions  

Vitali may have busted a gut laughing backstage afterwards, to be fair.

by Verklemptomaniac on Mar 10, 2010 6:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Many of my fans …

My exact reaction. Kevin Johnson has fans?

Although detractors decry (MMA) as a brutal, bloody form of human cockfighting, aficionados know it is a brutal, bloody, totally fucking awesome form of human cockfighting. -The Onion

by The Kittitas Kid on Mar 11, 2010 12:00 AM EST up reply actions  

I make no excuses

Then what the hell is this press release?

I wouldn’t be suprised if Pac turned out to be the incredible hulk in a very good disguise. - Sigidy

by Drunken cutman on Mar 10, 2010 5:52 PM EST reply actions  

This is the funniest press release ever.

Either he’s an absolute moron, or he has one heck of a sense of humour. Reckon I’m gonna go with the former…

"The terror of the unforeseen is what the science of history hides, turning a disaster into an epic"

by OliGold on Mar 10, 2010 6:13 PM EST reply actions  

The first time I saw Johnson fight was on FNF. If I recall, in the pre-fight interview he attempted to brag about his jab by calling it “unspeakable.”

by taco pal on Mar 10, 2010 9:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Wish he could fight half as good as he talks.

by traydawg on Mar 10, 2010 7:15 PM EST reply actions  

Unreal.

"If you sit there and watch a person take about an hour to tie his shoestrings, then you realize that whatever problems you got ain't that significant"
---Vernon Forrest 2006

by The Midnight Rambler on Mar 10, 2010 8:04 PM EST reply actions  

"Boxing is dirty," said Casamayor. " The day I’m not ready to be a dirty fighter is the day I don’t fight anymore because it will mean that I have no heart for it anymore."

by Zocalo on Mar 10, 2010 11:01 PM EST reply actions  

Bad Left Hook
"To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day..."

by SC on Mar 10, 2010 11:02 PM EST reply actions  

I belonged in the ring to FIGHT for a world title.

What? To FIGHT? Is that how fighting is supposed to be? Lol, too, at getting his press release dissected, instead of believed, like this, hahah.

by Fj-3 on Mar 11, 2010 12:08 AM EST reply actions  

Who knows what would of happened?

I do. He would of ran around the ring staying as far away from Vitali as possible while staying within the ring and then have a press confrence saying how great he did…..Oh wait that did happen

"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." - Ali

by sigidy on Mar 11, 2010 12:38 AM EST reply actions  

i wonder if there is a gif of vitali’s horrible attempt at a taunt

Texans 19-0 in 2010-2011 season PERIOD

by battle axe of doom on Mar 11, 2010 12:39 AM EST reply actions  

that wasn't horrible

That was the absolute highlight of the fight. Johnson kept taunting so Vitali just insulted him by acting like an idiot. He was also at the same time basically daring Johnson to show some brass and throw a punch, which of course he did not.

Bad Left Hook
"To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day..."

by SC on Mar 11, 2010 1:00 AM EST up reply actions  

well i’m not saying it was a deplorable act by vitali, but come on let’s be honest here it was hilariously bad. i literally lol’d when i saw it because of how awkward it looked

Texans 19-0 in 2010-2011 season PERIOD

by battle axe of doom on Mar 11, 2010 1:03 AM EST up reply actions  

I know what you meant, but I thought it was hilariously awesome. Then again I think everything Vitali does is awkward so maybe that didn’t stuck out so much for me.

Bad Left Hook
"To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day..."

by SC on Mar 11, 2010 2:43 AM EST up reply actions  

I think he was trying to make people laugh

I wouldn’t be suprised if Pac turned out to be the incredible hulk in a very good disguise. - Sigidy

by Drunken cutman on Mar 11, 2010 11:29 AM EST up reply actions  

I haven't

heard a single person wonder about where Johnson has been.

Or where he’s going to be.

by Don From Prov on Mar 11, 2010 9:28 PM EST reply actions  

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