Sunday, 1 PM

Cincinnati @ Carolina: Bengals. I watched a lot of Jimmy Clausen in college and despite the fact he put up some gaudy numbers in a pro-style offense, he just never impressed me. The Panthers are so predictable on offense it might as well be Tecmo Bowl playing them.

Buffalo @ New England: Patriots. Buffalo's "offense" is truly unfortunate.

San Francisco @ Kansas City: 49ers. The Chiefs are one of the worst 2-0 teams I can remember off hand. Of course I probably say that every year and forget later since teams like the Chiefs go 6-10.

Tennessee @ NY Giants: Giants. This should be the game where we learn something about the Titans D at least. I don't like a post-meltdown Vince Young, but Chris Johnson could carry them to a win anyway. Kind of a pick'em game between two likely pretenders.

Cleveland @ Baltimore: Ravens. No reason to explain why. The Browns are awful.

Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay: Steelers. By a gaudy score of 16-3 or the like.

Atlanta @ New Orleans: Falcons. Don't know why, just like the Falcons in this one. The Saints offense has really not been very explosive, but they're still a very good team. And very good teams still lose games sometimes.

Detroit @ Minnesota: Vikings. I'll try again to not go overboard with how much I hate the Vikings and everything about their team as currently constructed, so I hope my Lions do something here, but even an ancient Favre with shoddy receivers should be able to pick on the crap secondary, and AP is always there. Jahvid Best is going to be nasty on turf so long as he's healthy. The one thing that makes me think the Lions have a better than average chance to win this one is the fact that their defensive line has been killer, and Favre is proving to be very easily rattled so far this season.

Dallas @ Houston: Texans. I think. I'm picking the Texans for a couple of reasons. For one thing, the Cowboys are a total mess right now outside of Romo-to-Austin. For another thing, fuck the Cowboys.

Sunday, 4 PM

Philadelphia @ Jacksonville: Eagles. I think it'll be an ugly game. Supposed to rain a ton so that could really slow Michael Vick down. MJD has got to get going sometime and the Eagles defense hasn't exactly been stellar thus far.

Washington @ St. Louis: Redskins. Even though the Redskins don't have a superstar passing game, I expect we'll find out the Rams pass D is not as good as it has looked against the inept Cardinals and Raiders.

Indianapolis @ Denver: Colts.

Oakland @ Arizona: Raiders. I flipped a coin ten times and got Raiders 6-4.

San Diego @ Seattle: Chargers. Right now the forecast isn't for rain, so I expect the Chargers will have their way with the Seahawks. If not, well, I saw the Chargers in rain. It sucked. Rain could make this a lot more interesting.

Sunday Night Football

NY Jets @ Miami: Jets. Their defense alone should win them this game, though if Henne can find Brandon Marshall a few times this could be more fun than it projects on paper. The Dolphins are the ugliest 2-0 team since that time earlier I talked about the Chiefs.

Monday Night Football

Packers @ Bears: Packers. The Bears are better than I thought they were, though. In other words, the Bears are not who I thought they were.