An opponent has been named for the professional boxing debut of Kimbo Slice on August 13 in Oklahoma, and to the surprise of nobody who's even remotely sane or clued in to anything at all, it's a complete nobody and what basically amounts to a non-boxer.

Slice will face 39-year-old James Wade (0-1), a Missouri native who turned pro on January 13 at cruiserweight and was knocked out in the third round by the also debuting Carlos Torres in Oklahoma City. Slice, who had what could generously be called a mixed bag career in mixed martial arts, should obviously be favored and all, but would it really shock anyone if he lost immediately? I say every time I mention Kimbo that I think he seems like a nice guy and I wish he'd maybe turned pro in boxing 15 or so years ago, so look, I've established that I don't hate the dude, but let's call it what it is: A promotional stunt by Gary Shaw Productions, headed by Gary's son Jared, who "discovered" Slice and brought him into pro fighting after seeing some stupid YouTube videos where he beat up some fat guys and other assorted dudes who aren't really fighters, a few of whom would surely be handy in a bar brawl, but pro fighting ain't bar brawls.

So there you go. That's what Kimbo Slice's boxing debut amounts to.