Here's Floyd Mayweather Jr at last night's post-fight press conference. Victor Ortiz's portion is here.

On cliches: "Things happen. You know, shit happens in the sport of boxing. You live and you learn. Only the strongest survive. Protect yourself at all times. I went out there and done what I had to do."

On Pacquiao: "I want to stay active for my fans, for the people that support boxing. To be the face of boxing, only thing I gotta say is one thing: If you're the best, take the test. I'm not ducking and dodging no opponent, I'm getting tired of everyone saying Floyd is ducking and dodging."

On WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU GOONS?: "When Victor Ortiz was nine years old, Floyd Mayweather was world champion in the sport of boxing, and dominating the fight game."

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. This should be killed dead. Look, LOOK! Look. OK. Seriously. It's bad enough that Victor Ortiz came up with this ridiculous, fake story. It's even worse that Floyd Mayweather Jr is now trying to lend it credibility. Mayweather questioned Ortiz's entire life story at the final presser last week, but he actually says this out loud? With a smile? And those Golden Girls glasses?

Listen, again: When Victor Ortiz was nine, Floyd Mayweather Jr was 19. He had been pro for literally a few months. Mayweather won his first world title when he was 21, at 130 pounds. Ortiz was 11. Now, maybe you're saying, "Aw, geez, he could have forgotten how old he was," but no, no, no, no. Don't insult yourself. This just never happened at all. How this made it through without anyone in the "real media" going, "Hey, this story is bullshit! Explain yourselves!" is beyond me. Well, it's not, but y'know. Things happen. Stuff happens.

I can't go any further. The video's up there, you can watch it.