Rosie Perez was a guest this week on "The Late, Late Show" with Craig Ferguson, and before Ferguson knew what had hit him, she was off and running, talking boxing. Here's a transcript of the relevant portion of the interview, with the full video above.
Rosie Perez: "I'm a Puerto Rican who's a Nuyorican."
Craig Ferguson: "Nuyorican. Were you at the Puerto Rican Day Parade?"
Perez: "No, I wasn't because, oh my goodness--"
Ferguson: "Ooh, what!"
Perez: "This is so exciting! I got asked to be the Grand Marshal for the International Boxing Hall of Fame Parade."
Ferguson: "I didn't know you boxed!"
Perez: "I don't box! No, I'm a fan of boxing."
Ferguson: "Right, me too."
Perez: "That's the only reason I got on Twitter, actually. I know my manager doesn't want me to say it, but oh well. I saw on one of the boxing networks they were showing the tweets, and I wanted to say something, and my man was, like, just say it, get on Twitter. And I was like, (gasp!), genius! And I just fell in love. I swear, I love it, because, like, all my boxing friends now, I have a lot of boxing friends, and it's wonderful. So I tweet--"
Ferguson: "Do you go and watch fights live?"
Perez: "I go watch fights. The last fight I watched was Danny Garcia, who's a Puerto Rican from Philly, and Zab Judah, who's from Brooklyn."
Ferguson: "Uh oh!"
Perez: "Oh my God! I know, because everybody was asking me who I was going for, and I just couldn't say."
Ferguson: "You'd be very conflicted, yeah."
Perez: "It was very conflicting, but Danny Garcia won, Zab Judah really did well. They went the whole 12 rounds. And I was sitting right behind Oscar De La Hoya and Bernard Hopkins, and I saw his fight there, too, at the Barclays Center. I was just so excited. I was a little upset because Bernard kept talking to my man and (cousin) Sixto, and not to me, they were discussing boxing and stuff--"
Ferguson: "They think you don't know about boxing because you're a lady?"
Perez: "No, they do know."
Ferguson: "They do know."
Perez: "They do know."
Ferguson: "Did you ever box yourself, to keep fit or anything like that?"
Perez: "No, but I used to get my ass kicked a lot. I used to get my ass kicked a lot, and one of my relatives was, like, meet me outside. And I go, what for? And she goes, I need to teach you how to fight because you suck. It's true. So she kept hitting me in the face, and I'm like, why do you keep hitting me in the face? She's like, 'cause you gotta learn to move out of the way. And I was like, oh!"
Ferguson: "So you let her hit you in the face, said, 'why are you hitting me in the face?' and didn't go, whoa, hey, hey, like that?"
Perez: "Well, I did go, whoa, hey, you know. But yeah, I learned to fight after that, and I think after that, I only had, like, two or three fights after that. Nobody wanted to fight me after that, 'cause, you know."
Ferguson: "I can't imagine ever wanting to fight you."
Perez: "Me? Yeah, no, it wouldn't be a good idea. No."
Ferguson: "It's not the first thing that springs to mind, certainly, I tell ya that. What, like that's news?"
Perez: "But anyway, I got to go to the boxing hall of fame, and I got to meet Sergio Martinez."
Perez: "You don't even know who he is."
Ferguson: "Some of them I do and some of them I don't. I know a lot of boxers from the UK, but I don't know a ton of boxers in the US. Some of them."
Perez: "Did you see, uh--"
Perez: "Carl Froch."
Perez: "You didn't see Carl Froch fight versus Kessler? Amazing fight over there in the UK. Amazing, amazing fight. Froch won, but anyway. But yes, I know Mayweather--"
Ferguson: "I like Mayweather, he does that weird style."
Perez: "And everybody's copying him. Broner, Broner's copying him. (gasp!) BIG FIGHT SATURDAY!"
Perez: "Oh my God. No, stop it! No, seriously. It's Paulie Moggle-nod-gee...I can't say his last name."
Ferguson: "Really? You did so well."
Perez: "Paulie, from Brooklyn, and Adrien Broner, they're fighting at Barclays for the title fight. I hope all of Brooklyn comes out for Paulie. Adrien is an excellent fighter. It's gonna be a tough fight."
Ferguson: "When did this turn into ESPN right here? What the hell's going on?"
That's where the boxing talk cuts off, as Ferguson needs to get her to, like, promote the thing she was there to promote. So money.