FanPost

Random Thread For Random Topics 2: The Randoming




So it finally came to an end, the wild frontier that was the original random topics thread......or as Doc called it, the place stories go to die.

So lets take a moment to remember all the nonsensical (profound) posts that passed away in the last thread, but as a Frenchman playing a Scot once said there can only be one and here it is.

Instead of going through the stupid preamble that proceeded the first thread I'll just fill the needed word count by posting excerpts from the 1966 Batman film, enjoy.

[Batman, Robin, Commissioner Gordon, and Chief O'Hara consider which supercriminal might have been behind the fake yacht and exploding shark attack.]


Gordon: Could be any one of them, but which one? W— which ones?
O'Hara: [gasps]
Batman: Pretty fishy what happened to me on that ladder.
Gordon: You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin.
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea! See? "C" for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet... an exploding shark was pulling my leg!
Gordon: The Joker!
O'Hara: [It] all adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle-er. Riddler?
Gordon: Oh! A thought strikes me! So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance.
Batman: The four of them. Their forces combined...
Robin: Holy nightmare!

[Stuck to Penguin's magnetic buoy, with a torpedo approaching, Batman pries loose his utility belt transmitter.]

Batman: If I could just reverse the polarity... send out waves of super-energy...
. . .
[An annoyed Penguin observes the destruction of his torpedos.]
Penguin: He must be using a Super-Energy Reverse Polarizer!
. . .
[A third torpedo approaches, but Batman's transmitter ceases its screeching.]
Batman: Confound it! The batteries are dead!
. . .
[Moments after an off-camera explosion, we see Batman and Robin speeding in their Batboat.]
Robin: Gosh, Batman. The nobility of the almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, Robin. It was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.

[Batman reads Miss Kitka's riddles to Robin.]
Batman: One: "What has yellow skin and writes?"
Robin: A ballpoint banana.
Batman: Right! Two: "What people are always in a hurry?"
Robin: Rushing people? Russians!
Batman: Right again! Now, what would you say they mean?
Robin: Banana... Russian... I've got it! Someone Russian is gonna slip on a banana peel and break their neck!
Batman: Precisely, Robin! The only possible meaning!

[Batman and Robin are climbing up the wharf building concealing the United Underworld hideout.]
Robin: When you think, Batman, with people in weird outfits, like the four super crooks hangin' around here, it's amazing somebody hasn't already reported this place to the police!
Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.
Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes.

[Batman and Robin spy the Riddler's latest missile-delivered clues.]
Batman: "What goes up white, and comes down yellow and white?"
Robin: An egg!
Batman: "How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people?"
Robin: Make apple sauce!
Batman: Apples into apple sauce; a unification into one smooth mixture. An egg: nature's perfect container the container of all our hopes for the future!
Robin: A unification and a container of hope? United World Organization!
Batman: Precisely, Robin!

<strong><font color="red">FanPosts are user-created content written by community members of Bad Left Hook, and are generally not the work of our editors. <em>Please do not source FanPosts as the work of Bad Left Hook</em>.</font></strong>

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