FanPost

Sea Cucumers IV

Have you ever felt heroic? Have you ever though that, "no matter what happens," nothing will deter me.

Certainly, members of the Armed Forces do that every day. But I don't. I spend most of my time trying to figure out how I got married, happily so far,although it's been nip and tuck here and there (does that make sense to our Brit friends?) to a Chinese.

So, there are rare opportunities for Westerners, who are generally perceived as weak and pampered and ready to go when the Great Yellow Horde descends upon us,to appear strong, brave, and courageous. Eating sea cucumbers is one of those very rare opportunities,and shouldn't be passed by.

And so, I didn't pass it by.

Now, here's another tip for future reference: if you do something you think is heroic, or even just notable, like when you're at work and manage to actually function for a few minutes, make sure someone sees it. This is important. Pics or it didn't happen. I used to tell students this all the time. The ones who didn't listen are all homeless now, and their parents hate each other. But, that's not my fault. I haven't gotten to my faults yet, although I will.

So, I ate that first piece of sea cucumber.

Now, you need to understand the context. This was An Event. It was actually like a boxing match. It had to be seen. If no one pays attention, turns on the TV, pays the subscription, then it really hasn't happened, has it? Well, when I ate that first piece of sea cucumber, that's how I felt. Golovkin didn't exist for me back then, or Matthysse, but that's how it felt.To be them. I still don't think either of them could eat as much of this weird and mysterious marine detritous as I can.

But, I ate this piece of an object, and my wife and Hui Yin kept on talking, and neither noticed.

So, what would a smart person do in this situation? Well, you could bang on the table and yell "Hey, watch me eat this stuff." Or, you could discretely and politely go on to other dishes, secure in the knowledge that no will notice. Or, you could nod politely, and knowingly, while you attempt to finish that substance (I don't know what else to call it) that has lingered in your mouth for quite some time, and may in fact be there tomorrow, unless you take emergency measures).

Or, you can continue eating this execrable, marine residue of a true life form, and hope someone in your immediate vicinity notices before you expire.

<strong><font color="red">FanPosts are user-created content written by community members of Bad Left Hook, and are generally not the work of our editors. <em>Please do not source FanPosts as the work of Bad Left Hook</em>.</font></strong>

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