This was not supposed to be a two-part series, but I'm a techno-idiot, and accidentally posted the first half. Also, I'm writing this on a notebook balanced on the arm of a couch. So, here's the second part.
I had just gotten to the part about my brother-in-law and the pepper-eating contest.
My brother is a first-gen American (the US variety), and he lives in California. When he got here, he decided to, first, become fluent in Spanish; and second, become a connoisser of hot peppers. He accomplished both. So, he invited us (me, my wife, our mother,our father, my wife's son, his girlfriend, and m siser-in-law) all to a timeshare in Palm Springs. With one bathroom.
I should probably explain this about living with Chinese. They really don't care if your poop smells. Or your farts. Sharing a bathroom seems to mean nothing. However, as a Westerner, I do care about these things, and I prefer to poop and fart in private, This won't happen if you live with Chinese. Couple this with a hot pepper-eating contest.