Down Goes Broner: Some Poetry

Hello Everyone,

Recently, I had a back and forth with great poster BRNBMBR, and I shared with him my poem about Broner going down which I wrote two days after the fight. He then wrote a (better) version of it. Here it is:


Broner thought he was hot
He thought he was cool
He thought he was in cruise control
Superstardom was in place
Instead he met reality
Disguised in the form of a dodging opponent
Marcos "El Chino" Maidana
Leaning to feign a left to the body
As Broner was going straight back
Which is something you shouldn’t do as a boxer
He tried to block the feigned left hook with his
Back hand,
As his right hand dropped to block
"El Chino" came in
With the force of a typhoon and a woman’s spite
A Joe Frazier-esque left hook
From the bowels of the hell that
Maidana, of Argentina, brings onto his opponents
Suddenly Broner’s head snaps back
The crowd’s "oo’s" and "ah’s" fade away
As suddenly he lost vision of the ring
The world circles around in a fast
Whirlwind of sports car fury
Darkness, then lights, then darkness
Then stuck inside the spinning curveball
Headache and boom of the rollercoaster cyclone
Known as Maidana’s left hook
His head
The world suddenly started crashing down
Battleship sunk!
Mayday, mayday, I’m hit!
Iceberg dead ahead!
The crowd’s roar comes into focus
As the spinning sphere of chaos
Finally settles on the middle rung of the rope,
Hanging lifeless
Broner wants to quit
As his hazy head looks ahead
and meets eyes with a businessman in the crowd
The silent revelry and excitement
does not register to this sullen and swollen boxer
All he can think is that he is down
He doe’st know how
He doesn’t know why
His instinct was to get up
But how coudl this be?
He’s Adrien Broner!
The best boxer in the world!
THe next Floyd Mayweather!
Floyd Maywather, with more style!
He’s got the boxing
He’s got the speed
He’s got the jazz!
How could someone as rough as Marcos Madiana
Knock him down?
He’s so good…
Broner staggers up,
Legs sphaghetti
Head drowsy
Scene hazy
He fights on
Valiantly maybe
But slow and lethargic
He is no longer the best in the world.
He is a boxer getting beat
He is a man trying to survive
In the canvas jungle on display
In front of thousands of roaring fan
He is a spectacle of an ass-beat
To the Argentine whirlwind
His hopes
His arrogance
His style
ANd just for a little cash
This little man is no more.

His awesome version:

"Father extolled Broner in Tom cruise control?
Mission Impossible! Wig pulled from hair follicles
Eyes Wide Shut, Days of Thunder uppercuts
Jack Tatum assassin headhunter haymakers
Anatomical power punches aim to be scalpers
Rebellion with cause, Manson family cult chaos
Fistic Enemy to Public welcomed to Terrordome
Robert Garcia’s disciple trained in combat zone
Superstardom reality mutated to postmortem
Body Roswell alien dissected with no Problem
Marcos begot heat only seen in Kory’s kitchen
Chino mustard gas warfare burnt like chemo
Radiation left hooks to body till ribs are cooked
Feign to midsection followed by TNT detonation
Tony Tucker would be proud of fiery explosions
Incendiary leather singed Pollo Loco’s feathers
Monsoon force buried him in square-circle tomb
Canvas swallowed like that lost City of Atlantis
Wits Smokin’ like Joe, Bout Billions hoe lies low
Massive ego sunk by Titanic-size iceberg blows
Prudence impaired, senses ensnared in despair
Esteemed visions modified Elm Street dreams
Regal status knocked the fu** off earth’s axis
Darkness enshrouded, mentality gray clouded
Dome spinning while Grim Reaper is grinning
Excedrin headache elicited by jackhammering
Pupils dilated focus, trauma caused mydriasis
Rabid crowd gloats as corpse dangles on ropes
Lifeless body buzzard picked and ready to quit
Health hazardous, rises like Jesus did Lazarus
Hurt and exposed, no bull the kid Derrick rose
Legs unstable, perceived invincibility disabled
Self-assurance Gone with Wind ala Clark Gable
12 rds. seemed an eternity like ground & pound
Minutes seem hours when under molten shower
MexiCANs, RiCANs, Afro-AmeriCANs can get it
Why were Argentinians excluded from the mix?
Now we know, crisp to Kevin bacon, belt taken
Sprinted from ring defeated, swagger depleted
The plight of bringin’ flea bites to a pitbull fight
Touted like Caucasian cat in Great White Hype
New Showtime superstar? Pay-Per-Views czar?
Younger than Mayweather and fan friendlier
Paul Walker deadly speed too Fast & Furious
Next big thing? Stephen Espinoza is delirious
1st potent opponent, he’s broken to components
Grill disfigured as blows warped facial features
Arrogance stance slam danced to vain rubbish
Perfect record blemished, heathen vanquished
Proclamation of greatness just a hallucination"

by BRNBMBR on Mar 20, 2014 | 2:26 PM

Check our hilarious thread: Juanma Article.

<strong><font color="red">FanPosts are user-created content written by community members of Bad Left Hook, and are generally not the work of our editors. <em>Please do not source FanPosts as the work of Bad Left Hook</em>.</font></strong>

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