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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

FLOYD MAYWEATHER Jr: The chicken crossed the road because he's afraid to fight me. He's nothing anyways, crossing roads I crossed already, cleaning up my sloppy seconds. I'm not saying he's on performance enhancing grain, but someone please explain to me how he got to be such a big chicken so fast. Used to be a drumstick, now he's a Kentucky Fried combo platter. He's nothing, anyways.

OSCAR DE LA HOYA: This chicken crossed the road because he is a great young Mexican fighter. There is nothing but upside for this guy. He's got sharp claws, an underestimated beak, but most of all, the kid is all pluck. The chicken has been criticized for not crossing the road faster, not crossing tougher roads than this, but this road has been around a long time. The road is a veteran, and has plenty of bumps in store for the chicken. So I think all of us watching the chicken cross the road are in for an incredible night.

FREDDIE ROACH: The chicken crossed the road because he wasn't willing to wait. You know I like to keep my chickens busy. A busy chicken is a good chicken. So sometimes you take these kind of roads. They may not be the roads every fan wants, but the road has broken down many good chickens in the past. My chicken just happens to be the best chicken in the world.


LARRY MERCHANT: I think that is the question on everyone's mind--why did the chicken cross the road? In this day and age, when so many chickens have quit crossing roads, or only cross the easiest road, why did the chicken cross the road? It's because this chicken isn't like a certain opponent who we've all recently seen. To say that that other chicken--and you know who I mean--was all gristle is an insult to fatty meat. No, the chicken we have here today is like the chickens of yore. The days when you cook em on a spit and spit the claws out when you're through.

PAULIE MALIGNAGGI: The chicken crossed the road because that's the kind of chicken he is. From the streets, like me. He's old school chicken. He's not a big scratcher, he's not gonna wow you with his drumstick. He's a chicken's chicken, fast, good fundamentals. He crosses this road, it establishes him as a major star. Then he can come to my home town, to New York, and get a peck at the big apple.

JAMES TONEY: Don't come up here to me and try to give me no bad-ass questions. Why did the chicken cross the mother-fucking road? Why? Why. Bottom line, tough ass chicken, bottom line, James Toney. Bottom line? bottom dollar. Who's next? Wam. Line em up. Shoot em. Whose next? Tell me!

TEDDY ATLAS: The chicken crossing the road reminds me of Atlantic City. I mean here we are, in the Las Vegas of the East, and the chicken is crossing the road. The chicken is walking the long roulette wheel of life. The chicken knows he has a good hand, but he's crossing the road anyway. But here's the thing. If the chicken doesn't count his cards right, the chicken could be on the losing end of this round. He might have to fold on some roads. He might have to up his ante, but if this chicken is as good of a gambler as he seemed like last time he crossed a road, we could be seeing the next Stu Ungar or Phil Ivey.

HAROLD LEDERMAN: You know Jim, I gotta tell ya. I've seen a lot of slick roads, but this road is one slippery customer. He may not be hurting the chicken, but he is getting away from him. I have the road winning every round. The chicken just can't seem to sink his claws in, scratching around, no real plan, he just can't seem to cross that road. I have it road, 60, chicken, 54, and if the chicken doesn't have a plan B, it's going to be a long road. Jim!

GLEN JOHNSON: I have been crossing roads a long time, and I have been waiting a long time, but now we are talking about this chicken crossing the road. I don't know. These kinds of things are why so many people hate roads. Where is the justice? I have paid my dues, and all I ask for is an honest chicken. A man has got to feed his family.

MANNY PACQUIAO: Well, I think the chicken was a tough opponent. I hit him a lot of times in the beak. He was tough, and I let him cross the road, because I knew he would not taste very good. I would like to fight the other chicken, but right now it is not happening. I hope it will happen, because it would be a good fight for us and for the world. I would like to thank all of the chickens for crossing the roads.

Anyone want to add their own below?

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