FanPost

REPORT: Boxing Bad

Jarrell Miller, best known for being unabashedly fat and fun, has failed a drug test for a substance that is illegal, against VADA regulations, and of course causes rapidly advancing cancers. This puts a near $7 million payday at risk, along with one of the few fights that might have redeemed the pig slop that came before it. No one was picking Miller to win because a) his bets wins are against C+ level opponents like Gerald Washington and Thomasz Adamek and b) he's not very good at boxing but he does make for fun fights. Even if the fight goes ahead, and I am sure it will, Miller will likely be faced with losing a big share of his purse and adds another page to the book of things to make fun of him for doing. He failed a test once before when he was a kickboxer so it's not like there's no history of this.

In even worse news, Gennady Golovkin is making his much anticipated return to the ring against something called Steve Rolls who is a Canadian that I, a Canadian boxing fan living in Canada, have not ever once in my life heard about. All I know is that he's 35, started as a professional late in life, and has precisely nothing impressive on his resume. DAZN is likely paying Rolls the sum of what he's already made fighting plus more so Golovkin can add another highlight to the reel and shake some rust off, but this is vile. It's off the Salka scale. It's like playing Fight Night with the sliders turned all the way up and the difficulty on amateur. Nothing about this is redeeming. There were plenty of fights out there that Golovkin could have taken and easily won that didn't involve state sanctioned attempted murder. I excused the Vanes fight as a short notice stay busy replacement but not even I can justify this. It's as bad as mismatches get.

In even worse news, Terence Crawford is going to beta the shit out of Amir Khan — a nice fellow who wouldn't/couldn't hurt anyone if he tried — on fucking PPV this Saturday night. I, a sucker, have resolved to not pay for it which means that I am going to spend Saturday watching a terrible stream of a terrible batch of fights put off by a terrible promotional outfit and produced by some of the worst minds boxing has to offer in ESPN. It's sure to be downright terrible and sell just enough for boxing people to say the model remains profitable. There is no reason to pay for this fight card unless you derive some sexual thrill out of blatant mismatches, which appear up and down the card.

In even worse news, Jaimie Munguia was allowed to keep his belt after Denis Hogan clearly beat him. I know the semantics police get all wound up when you start talking about robberies but if this wasn't one then nothing is. The fucking broadcast crew was talking about how the decision was going to go Munguia's way before the fight even started. I'm all for the idea that the champ gets the benefit of the doubt in razor close rounds, but Hogan won eight rounds of that fight. It was as soulless an affair as you'll ever see. A clearly weight drained and underprepared Munguia running from corner to corner trying to wing hooks at the slick Hogan, who was turning escape routes into counter shots by the fourth round.

Boxing in 2019 has been dog shit awful. There are a handful of fights coming up that have potential to wash this taste out of our mouths but two fights can't undo four months. Shy of the heavyweight and welterweight champs actually coming to terms on fights, I cannot picture this turning around in any meaningful way. Sure, we'll have some good scraps but the overall quality is down so bad right now.

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